I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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