Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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