I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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