She's JV to your varsity
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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