I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize