A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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