Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
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I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
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sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
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