Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Everclear isn't food dammit
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