Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize