At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
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He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
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Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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