are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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