My nipple is on Facebook.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
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She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
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At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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