somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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