In the future we'll all be gay
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize