it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
She needs sedatives and a leash
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
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