watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Life is so much better after having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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