Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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