Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
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Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
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Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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