Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The air was thick with penises
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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