remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize