porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize