i barfeds in our rink
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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