i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
People in love make me want to vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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