I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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