I hate your face
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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