She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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