oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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