so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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