hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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