I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize