WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
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I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
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You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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