I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize