she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
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I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
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You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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