Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Four minutes until I can fart!
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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