there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
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