who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize