it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize