I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
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The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
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He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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