i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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