Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize