Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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