In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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