Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize