and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
A bitchslap is in order.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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