She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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