Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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