Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
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