I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
