Porn is love you can see.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize