It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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