I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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